It helps that Lair does not preach - he offers tools and solutions for you to take or leave. However, there was nothing I couldn't understand, and I think that will be true for the majority of readers or listeners. I found that there were more than a few complex concepts in the book that I had to rewind and listen to a few times. Sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for couple of weeks. I have found that the book is an outstanding way to take stock of how I approach relationships, and the audiobook lets me set my own pace and pause whenever needed. It is for anyone who wants to improve how they show up in relationships. Surprisingly, this book is not just for people who are experiencing significant relationship problems. This book helpls people in every stage of a relationship. In short, this book will give you the tools you need to ensure you are showing up as your best person for the people who matter most to you. I was just missing a lot and had no idea. This seems obvious enough, however I was constantly surprised when I applied Lair's approach at how inconsistent, if not insufficient, I was at this. If you do this, you will see improvement in your relationships. Lair then gives several techniques that you can use to ensure that you are being the best, most responsible person you can be for those who are most important to you. I found myself applying Lair's ideas not just to my personal relationships, but in other areas of my life as well. For instance, "midfulness" is not a new concept, but Lair presents mindfulness in a way that has direct application to how you live your life and view your relationships. He breaks the process down into several steps, however unlike a lot of other "step" processes or programs, these steps have value in themselves. Lair presents advice for people who want to improve their relationships. So, here is why you should listen to this book: 1. For me, listening during a commute or long drive made the material more accessibe. This book can be listened to in doses, paused, and thought about before listening to more. Personally, I listened to the audiobook, and it worked well. Second, of course I am going to say this book is different. They always seem to promise a lot up front, but then either offer vague platitudes, or specific steps that are unworkable. These are not short-term solutions, but rather a path to profound healing, deeper connection, and stronger, happier relationships.įirts off, I am usually cynical when it comes to self-help or personal improvement books, podcasts or articles.
The five practices gives the listeners an opportunity to weed out and take responsibility for limiting or negative habits while allowing them to learn and adopt new and healthier practices with their partner. Diving beneath the symptoms most therapies focus on, he helps couples develop a deeper understanding of the wounds that brought them together and how they show up in their relationships. In his work, Lair Torrent, a licensed marriage and family therapist, brings together concepts and tools that can actually help couples heal for the long haul.
An inconvenient truth torrent how to#
But we are not born knowing how to make a relationship work, any more than we are born knowing how to file taxes or buy insurance, and there are no classes in high school or college that teach us how to do this.
Relationships have fallen into the category of things we should know how to do. For far too long, it has been assumed that we should innately understand how to love one another.
We should treat them like we treat anything that we want to succeed, by giving them time and attention. Our relationships have to be a daily practice if we want them to thrive. At its core, this book delivers an inconvenient truth. A master class in relationship repair and connection.